Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Battle Engine Transport Solution?

I'm not gonna lie.  After thinking 'Man, these are sweet models and I cannot wait to paint one or more!' a little voice in my head (one of the many) said to me: "And just how do you propose to transport $84.99 (plus tax) and hours of love and obsessive work without destroying it?"

I had a mental imagine of my Arcantrik Force Generator falling to the ground in slow motion, with the accompanying stock, low, drawn-out 'Noooooo!'  It would shatter into a thousand pieces, and I would sink to my knees, raging at the heavens in the rain.

I was pretty sure that if I dropped a Battle Engine and broke it, that it would a) shatter into a thousand pieces, and b) I would get the atmospheric rain even indoors.

But today, inspiration struck.  At work, while dying on the inside and shuffling papers, I require bitterness, rage, and spite to be distilled into liquid form.
I go through a lot of this black, silken gold*.  I have the $12.99 Mister Coffee** from my undergrad days on my desk, and it brews four cups.  However, I go through coffee at a hell of a rate, as I believe a filter loaded to capacity produces the best concentrated beverage of spite-fuel.

Today, I tapped out another 1 pound 11-ounce container of folgers, and had a thought:

"Man, I bet a Battle Engine would fit in here..."

And you know what?  It does.  A Wraith Engine would certainly fit in there, assuming you didn't make it do some arms-splayed Disco Dance.  An Arcantrik Force Generator will fit in there mostly; I would have to cut notches for the upper part of the legs, but I could still put the lid on afterwards.

Line with foam, and suddenly you have a fairly economical means of transporting your battle engine.

I suppose this is what happens when you substitute strong coffee*** for sleep.

I plan to follow up with pictures about how I jury-rig this affair together.  It even gives your engine a wonderful maybe-the-world-isn't-so-terrible-in-the-morning-after-all smell.****

*Folgers isn't actually paying me for this.

**Mr. Coffee isn't paying me for this, either.

***Your coffee is ready when you put a spoon in it...and instead of standing up, the spoon sinks into it, and you can drink the cup without recovering said spoon.

****The coffee will only fool you, but when you add coffee to the smell of Warmachine, you might have some hope, and indeed condition yourself to equate coffee and happiness.

2 comments:

Von said...

Damn it, stop negating my convincing arguments against the purchase of a Battle Engine!

Plarzoid said...

Nice find!