Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Battle Engine Transport Solution?

I'm not gonna lie.  After thinking 'Man, these are sweet models and I cannot wait to paint one or more!' a little voice in my head (one of the many) said to me: "And just how do you propose to transport $84.99 (plus tax) and hours of love and obsessive work without destroying it?"

I had a mental imagine of my Arcantrik Force Generator falling to the ground in slow motion, with the accompanying stock, low, drawn-out 'Noooooo!'  It would shatter into a thousand pieces, and I would sink to my knees, raging at the heavens in the rain.

I was pretty sure that if I dropped a Battle Engine and broke it, that it would a) shatter into a thousand pieces, and b) I would get the atmospheric rain even indoors.

But today, inspiration struck.  At work, while dying on the inside and shuffling papers, I require bitterness, rage, and spite to be distilled into liquid form.
I go through a lot of this black, silken gold*.  I have the $12.99 Mister Coffee** from my undergrad days on my desk, and it brews four cups.  However, I go through coffee at a hell of a rate, as I believe a filter loaded to capacity produces the best concentrated beverage of spite-fuel.

Today, I tapped out another 1 pound 11-ounce container of folgers, and had a thought:

"Man, I bet a Battle Engine would fit in here..."

And you know what?  It does.  A Wraith Engine would certainly fit in there, assuming you didn't make it do some arms-splayed Disco Dance.  An Arcantrik Force Generator will fit in there mostly; I would have to cut notches for the upper part of the legs, but I could still put the lid on afterwards.

Line with foam, and suddenly you have a fairly economical means of transporting your battle engine.

I suppose this is what happens when you substitute strong coffee*** for sleep.

I plan to follow up with pictures about how I jury-rig this affair together.  It even gives your engine a wonderful maybe-the-world-isn't-so-terrible-in-the-morning-after-all smell.****

*Folgers isn't actually paying me for this.

**Mr. Coffee isn't paying me for this, either.

***Your coffee is ready when you put a spoon in it...and instead of standing up, the spoon sinks into it, and you can drink the cup without recovering said spoon.

****The coffee will only fool you, but when you add coffee to the smell of Warmachine, you might have some hope, and indeed condition yourself to equate coffee and happiness.


Von said...

Damn it, stop negating my convincing arguments against the purchase of a Battle Engine!

Plarzoid said...

Nice find!